Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Return of Lily Ruth's Mama

I'm back! Or rather, I'm still here :-) We took a week and went to San Diego then Scottsdale. We saw lots of cool things and had a wonderful visit with a large group of our family.

Lily Ruth was amazing on our trip. A fantastic travel partner on both airplane rides. A super duper trooper during our looong car trip through the desert. A charming and hilarious sidekick for all of our mini-adventures along the way.

We are all HUGE fans of the San Diego Zoo. Our only glitch was in under-dressing. We were prepared for a 70 degree day - it was colder and MUCH windier. We ended up purchasing a fleece zip-up jacket to use as a blanket for Lily Ruth and a pair of 'children-size' gloves that she is now in love with. These pictures really crack me up!

Those cartoonishly large hands and that happy face!

We spent the morning on foot at the zoo, and returned after dark to ride the double-decker bus. We were basically the only people riding at that time. Lily Ruth got to sit in the front seat on the top level and watch the nighttime zoo go by. We stayed on for 2 (or was it 3?) full cycles around the park. It was wonderful.

She wasn't as thrilled with the Birch Aquarium. It is short on aquatic mammals and big on science demos. She did develop a love for pushing exhibit buttons and turning dials. She only agreed to one photo:

After that, I had to catch her on the sly:

'Where are the pictures of you?' You might be asking yourself... well... we're at the part that has kept me so quiet lately. I had one of 'those' moments. You know the ones - you've been chugging along thinking that everything was fine (or at least fine-ish)... then somebody takes a picture of you, and you get a long look at yourself. *sigh* I knew that I was puffing up a bit. My pants have become too tight, and my shirts are lumpy... but if I just took quick peeks in the mirror and only checked things like my makeup or hair, then I could put it off. Now, I can't - because there's this:

Worn down, dragged out, and much larger than I had allowed myself to believe. This year has taken a toll on me. It's time to stop letting that be o.k. Time to make a plan for becoming the woman that I want to be - strong, vital and full of joy. Time to stop physically dragging my sadness around as extra weight and exhaustion. Time to talk to somebody about the depression.

Thanks for listening, you guys. As I work out my plan, I'll fill you in on the details. For now, writing it down is serving as my impetus for motion.

I have more pictures to share, and even more crafting (!!). Hopefully, working on removing the roadblock of delusion will mean the return of my voice. I'm sure that I'll have more to say soon... bear with me...

1 comment:

  1. Welcome back, dearie! I'm glad you're planning on tacking the Blues Beast. It's a difficult road, but well worth the travel. I'm also glad you're taking care of yourself. I've convinced myself that 2012 is the Year of Me. I've spent so much time and money taking care of my kids and husband this past year, and damnit if it's not time to take care of myself for once. Join me, won't you?