Dear Feral Gingers that the Batty Old Lady Next Door Feeds,
Remember when we had decided to buy this house and my Mama walked past it every morning and reported that a bazillion of you had daily meetings on our lawn?
Remember when we moved in and we didn't forcibly evict you, but chose to let you wander in and out of our yard(s)?
Remember the times that you kept me, my husband and my dog up all night having cat sex behind our air conditioning unit?
Remember when one of you had kittens behind that same air conditioning unit (more than once)?
Remember how I allowed all of this because I felt sorry for you?
Well, my days of allowing you casual access to my yard and my life are O-V-E-R. You assholes have shredded my air conditioning intake and output ducts. During one of the hottest summers on record in this town, my family has been paying close to $500 every month so that your cat-sex-den could be air conditioned. You're outta here, you jerks. Do not come back. I am so very serious, and you do NOT want to test me on this one.
Sincerely,
One PISSED OFF, Overheated Mama
Showing posts with label ginger cats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ginger cats. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Saturday, July 24, 2010
dammit.
Remember when I was all mad because there were Ginger Cats having loud sex behind my air conditioning unit? Well, apparently, they kept practicing and eventually got it right. How do I know this? Well, I'll tell ya - THERE WERE KITTENS BEHIND MY AC!!!!!!!
Daddy Don went out there yesterday to chase a Ginger away. He noticed a tiny movement. It was a kitten. I took Lily Ruth out to see, and it was TWO tiny kittens.
We had some dinner then went out to check again. All of a sudden, it was SIX tiny kittens!
They seem to be new to walking, but that means that we're going to start seeing a lot more of them. Now I'm freaking out about what I'm supposed to do with six kittens. I'm also afraid that they will fall into the pool... or be beaten up by one of their daddies... or not get enough to eat because cats are terrible mamas... Why do I have to be so nice? Why can't I just not care what happens to the tiny babies? Dammit.
Well, this story has a happy ending (for me) because the mama cat spent ALL F'ING NIGHT moving the kittens. It kept Keely up for HOURS. Now they are in the hedge next to the pool... because CATS ARE CRAPPY PARENTS. We were in the pool this evening when I noticed a teeny-tiny cat watching us from the viney-overgrown wackiness between our elderly neighbors and ourselves. If either of us had any cash or any dignity, there would not be a place that you could hide six kittens there. But we each have to be who we are, so there happens to be a falling down fence overgrown with a vine that creates a perfect (???) den.
When I went over to their house to mention the kittens, she already knew. I think that she has maybe been in our yard when we're not home, but whatever. Not only was she not surprised about the kittens, but she knew where they had started out, where they were now, and how many there are.
She did seem a bit concerned about the fact that she has to pay a no-kill shelter every 3-4 months to take a new litter of kittens. It took a lot for me to not offer to help pay, BUT they're not my kittens! My cats are fixed. I expressed sympathy, but that was all. I was proud of myself for not taking on this wackiness. Daddy Don is relieved.
It gets better, ya'll. Daddy Don went out to find Frank for dinner. He came back sans Frank, but avec concerned expression. There was a baby bird on the ground. DAMMIT.
It was hideously ugly and oh so very small. I found a Victoria's Secret bag and a rag to line it. I picked it up (with the towel) and put the bag in the fork of the tree it was closest to.
I checked on it several times as I finished dinner. Then the doorbell rang. A neighbor child was attempting to return the bag. The tiny bird was on the ground again. As a group, we discussed it and decided to leave tiny bird there least it fling itself from the tree AGAIN and hurt itself. It was really hard to walk away, but I did.
I'm overwhelmed with the fecund offerings of nature this weekend. I may close the blinds and refuse to examine any further examples. Dammit.
Daddy Don went out there yesterday to chase a Ginger away. He noticed a tiny movement. It was a kitten. I took Lily Ruth out to see, and it was TWO tiny kittens.
We had some dinner then went out to check again. All of a sudden, it was SIX tiny kittens!
They seem to be new to walking, but that means that we're going to start seeing a lot more of them. Now I'm freaking out about what I'm supposed to do with six kittens. I'm also afraid that they will fall into the pool... or be beaten up by one of their daddies... or not get enough to eat because cats are terrible mamas... Why do I have to be so nice? Why can't I just not care what happens to the tiny babies? Dammit.
Well, this story has a happy ending (for me) because the mama cat spent ALL F'ING NIGHT moving the kittens. It kept Keely up for HOURS. Now they are in the hedge next to the pool... because CATS ARE CRAPPY PARENTS. We were in the pool this evening when I noticed a teeny-tiny cat watching us from the viney-overgrown wackiness between our elderly neighbors and ourselves. If either of us had any cash or any dignity, there would not be a place that you could hide six kittens there. But we each have to be who we are, so there happens to be a falling down fence overgrown with a vine that creates a perfect (???) den.
When I went over to their house to mention the kittens, she already knew. I think that she has maybe been in our yard when we're not home, but whatever. Not only was she not surprised about the kittens, but she knew where they had started out, where they were now, and how many there are.
She did seem a bit concerned about the fact that she has to pay a no-kill shelter every 3-4 months to take a new litter of kittens. It took a lot for me to not offer to help pay, BUT they're not my kittens! My cats are fixed. I expressed sympathy, but that was all. I was proud of myself for not taking on this wackiness. Daddy Don is relieved.
It gets better, ya'll. Daddy Don went out to find Frank for dinner. He came back sans Frank, but avec concerned expression. There was a baby bird on the ground. DAMMIT.
It was hideously ugly and oh so very small. I found a Victoria's Secret bag and a rag to line it. I picked it up (with the towel) and put the bag in the fork of the tree it was closest to.
I checked on it several times as I finished dinner. Then the doorbell rang. A neighbor child was attempting to return the bag. The tiny bird was on the ground again. As a group, we discussed it and decided to leave tiny bird there least it fling itself from the tree AGAIN and hurt itself. It was really hard to walk away, but I did.
I'm overwhelmed with the fecund offerings of nature this weekend. I may close the blinds and refuse to examine any further examples. Dammit.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Dear So & So... take 7
Ta-DA! Friday! Dear So & So Day! Got some letters of your own? Type 'em out & link up with Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow.
Dear Fledgeling Lawn,
Hang in there. The first couple of days are the hardest. You'll be rooted soon. In the mean time, don't worry, the neighbors who slow down aren't laughing, they're just surprised to see that we're actually putting effort into you. Until now, the yard looked like the house was vacant - they're just surprised to see your little plugged self.
Lookin' Good!
Mr & Mrs Dirty Knees/Blistered Hands
☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀
Dear Baby Daughter,
Tomorrow's Easter Egg Hunt is just for fun. There is no pressure for you to actually seek and/or find any eggs on your own. Your whole job is to wear the dress that your Daddy bought for you, and to have a good time. Grandpa may take some pictures, but that is all.
Please don't eat too many leaves or sticks,
Mama
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Dear Creepy Ginger Cats,
Are you serious? Every morning at 6? Right outside my bedroom window? Also, what's with the new guys? Is all of this their fault? You guys are VERY lucky that the little old lady who claims to hate you still feeds you. She may be loopy, but she seems to have a soft spot for your creepy asses.
Knock it off.
Sleepy in San Antone
◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊◊
Dear Kittyn,
I miss you. PLEASE use all of your money to come and visit me. What's a little financial ruin between friends? I would use all of mine, but you're much more successful than me, and all of my money would only get me to maybe Dallas.
I adore you,
Puppy
** my favorite parts of that picture are as follows - 1) my cast-off shoes in the upper corner 2) my face pressed really deeply into the pillow 3) my bag from Massage School sitting right next to us stuffed with extra sheets 4) the fact that Matt was the only one awake to take this even though it was 12:05 on January 1st (2006)**
✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩
Happy Friday!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
a couple of things...
Today's Recipes: Mushroom Risotto
I feel like I have a lot to tell you, but it's not a cohesive story. So, it'll be more of a list...
1. The Ginger Cat Saga seems to be over! At least the part where they 'do it' behind my air conditioning unit. They still pass through the yard occasionally, but we're coping with that.
2. I TOTALLY 'Dog Whispered' Keely, and it WORKED! I have been trying to teach her to walk next to me without pulling since the baby was born. So that's seven months of frustration on both our parts. I spend my whole walk correcting her, and she spends her whole walk pretending that she's not even with me. She walks at the end of however much leash she can get. I give her 2 inches of slack, and she strains to the end of it. I drop the lead to pick up poop, and she's at the end of it acting like she's trying to escape. Well, this weekend, Don & I were walking with Lily and Keely. He was holding Keely, and she was acting worse than usual since he has never worked on this with her so she thinks she has free reign with him. I got fed up, and took her lead. Then I unclipped it from her collar, made a slip loop at the end, and put it on her neck (way up by her ears) like I've seen 'on the tee-vee'. Holy Cow! What a difference! Within seconds, she was calmly walking beside me without pulling. It was like magic. For today's walk, I did the same thing. We had a little bit of a power struggle, then she gave up and did as I asked. It was nice! She's not perfect - but honestly, who is :-P - and we'll need to continue our work, but this is very exciting!
3. Lily and I went to the Farmer's Market on Saturday. We forgot to tell you! It was big fun. We've been before (like when Kittyn was here), but never by ourselves. It had rained for most of the week, so some of the growers couldn't even get here, and the rest were low on stock since the weather had been too bad to harvest. We bought eggs,
crimini mushrooms, ginormous green onions, feta in olive oil with herbs and Blackberry Peach Chipotle Sauce. We can't wait to go back this Saturday for spinach, crazy colors of broccoli and cauliflower and possibly some olive oil made 20 minutes from here... even though I just bought a new bottle of our usual brand...
4. I made a delightful Mushroom Risotto for dinner on Monday! It was totally improvised - we needed dinner, and I needed to NOT go to the grocery store - but it turned out beautifully. I'm going to give you the recipe (since that's what I do), but I'm warning you that I am NOT a pro. There are LOTS of recipes for basic (and not so basic) risottos out there, and if you've never made it before, maybe you could check a few of them out to see how my directions compare to theirs. Alternately, if you ARE a risotto pro (Diane), and you see and room for improvement in my method, PLEASE let me know as I love to improve!
Rachel's Mushroom Risotto
olive oil
2 big green onions (or 2 or 3 shallots or 1/2 a med onion) - finely sliced
1/2 Lb crimini mushrooms - sliced
1/2 Tbsp ground cardamom
3 large garlic cloves - thinly sliced (or minced)
1 qt mushroom broth (or vegetable broth or chicken broth)
1 1/3 c risotto
1 c frozen green peas
1/2 c Parmesean cheese - grated
in a heavy bottomed pan, sauteé the onion and garlic in olive oil for 2-3 minutes then add the mushrooms. cook until the mushrooms are done. mix in the cardamom and set aside. heat the broth (I use my tea kettle and keep it over a low heat until I'm done) - the broth needs to be hot for the entire process. using the same pan that you sauteéd the mushroom mix in, heat a tablespoon of olive oil over medium to medium high heat. when the pan and the oil are hot, add the risotto and cook until the grains become semi-translucent. begin adding broth a bit at a time - I add no more than enough to just cover the grains. let the broth absorb - stirring frequently. wait until the previous amount is fully absorbed before adding more. once all of the broth is absorbed into the risotto, add the mushroom mix back in, mix in the peas and warm through. add the cheese and serve immediately.
- notes: I've tried heating the broth in batches in the microwave - it bites. It's never hot when you need it, and you're neglecting the risotto, so it can stick/scorch. If you don't like the tea kettle idea, I would suggest heating the broth in a pan on the stove and ladling it in as needed. Also, I choose peas because I thought their slight sweetness would be a nice counterpoint to the earthiness of the mushrooms. I was right ;-)
I have to show off my farm fresh green onions and crimini mushrooms!
I had a picture of the risotto, but it did not do the dish justice... phooey...
Time to rock the baby to sleep! if you could read the Ferber book on sleep and tell me what it says, I would be very grateful. I bought it last week but have been to tired to read it :-/
Check out what I did to her sweaty hair today !
I feel like I have a lot to tell you, but it's not a cohesive story. So, it'll be more of a list...
1. The Ginger Cat Saga seems to be over! At least the part where they 'do it' behind my air conditioning unit. They still pass through the yard occasionally, but we're coping with that.
2. I TOTALLY 'Dog Whispered' Keely, and it WORKED! I have been trying to teach her to walk next to me without pulling since the baby was born. So that's seven months of frustration on both our parts. I spend my whole walk correcting her, and she spends her whole walk pretending that she's not even with me. She walks at the end of however much leash she can get. I give her 2 inches of slack, and she strains to the end of it. I drop the lead to pick up poop, and she's at the end of it acting like she's trying to escape. Well, this weekend, Don & I were walking with Lily and Keely. He was holding Keely, and she was acting worse than usual since he has never worked on this with her so she thinks she has free reign with him. I got fed up, and took her lead. Then I unclipped it from her collar, made a slip loop at the end, and put it on her neck (way up by her ears) like I've seen 'on the tee-vee'. Holy Cow! What a difference! Within seconds, she was calmly walking beside me without pulling. It was like magic. For today's walk, I did the same thing. We had a little bit of a power struggle, then she gave up and did as I asked. It was nice! She's not perfect - but honestly, who is :-P - and we'll need to continue our work, but this is very exciting!
3. Lily and I went to the Farmer's Market on Saturday. We forgot to tell you! It was big fun. We've been before (like when Kittyn was here), but never by ourselves. It had rained for most of the week, so some of the growers couldn't even get here, and the rest were low on stock since the weather had been too bad to harvest. We bought eggs,
crimini mushrooms, ginormous green onions, feta in olive oil with herbs and Blackberry Peach Chipotle Sauce. We can't wait to go back this Saturday for spinach, crazy colors of broccoli and cauliflower and possibly some olive oil made 20 minutes from here... even though I just bought a new bottle of our usual brand...
4. I made a delightful Mushroom Risotto for dinner on Monday! It was totally improvised - we needed dinner, and I needed to NOT go to the grocery store - but it turned out beautifully. I'm going to give you the recipe (since that's what I do), but I'm warning you that I am NOT a pro. There are LOTS of recipes for basic (and not so basic) risottos out there, and if you've never made it before, maybe you could check a few of them out to see how my directions compare to theirs. Alternately, if you ARE a risotto pro (Diane), and you see and room for improvement in my method, PLEASE let me know as I love to improve!
Rachel's Mushroom Risotto
olive oil
2 big green onions (or 2 or 3 shallots or 1/2 a med onion) - finely sliced
1/2 Lb crimini mushrooms - sliced
1/2 Tbsp ground cardamom
3 large garlic cloves - thinly sliced (or minced)
1 qt mushroom broth (or vegetable broth or chicken broth)
1 1/3 c risotto
1 c frozen green peas
1/2 c Parmesean cheese - grated
in a heavy bottomed pan, sauteé the onion and garlic in olive oil for 2-3 minutes then add the mushrooms. cook until the mushrooms are done. mix in the cardamom and set aside. heat the broth (I use my tea kettle and keep it over a low heat until I'm done) - the broth needs to be hot for the entire process. using the same pan that you sauteéd the mushroom mix in, heat a tablespoon of olive oil over medium to medium high heat. when the pan and the oil are hot, add the risotto and cook until the grains become semi-translucent. begin adding broth a bit at a time - I add no more than enough to just cover the grains. let the broth absorb - stirring frequently. wait until the previous amount is fully absorbed before adding more. once all of the broth is absorbed into the risotto, add the mushroom mix back in, mix in the peas and warm through. add the cheese and serve immediately.
- notes: I've tried heating the broth in batches in the microwave - it bites. It's never hot when you need it, and you're neglecting the risotto, so it can stick/scorch. If you don't like the tea kettle idea, I would suggest heating the broth in a pan on the stove and ladling it in as needed. Also, I choose peas because I thought their slight sweetness would be a nice counterpoint to the earthiness of the mushrooms. I was right ;-)
I have to show off my farm fresh green onions and crimini mushrooms!
I had a picture of the risotto, but it did not do the dish justice... phooey...
Time to rock the baby to sleep! if you could read the Ferber book on sleep and tell me what it says, I would be very grateful. I bought it last week but have been to tired to read it :-/
Check out what I did to her sweaty hair today !
Friday, January 15, 2010
Chef Mommy
First, an update: My dad came over today and closed up the entrance to The Kitty Kat Klub in an effort to cut down on the amount of cat love-making that occurs right outside my bedroom... well, we accidentally closed not one, not two, but THREE cats in there! Damn post-coital naps. In our defense, it is not humanly possible to see back there, so we had to trust that the amount of noise we were making would scare them out... it did not, and I was later alerted to their presence by a fair amount of rustling in the vicinity of our intake vent (a.k.a. the dining room). I went out in the pouring rain and undid all his hard work. Then I waited until a cat came out. Then I waited some more. Then I closed it back up. Then there was more rustling. Then I did the opening and waiting bit again. Then TWO MORE CATS CAME OUT. Then I closed it up again. Damn Clown Car of Creepy Ginger Cats. Hopefully this is the end of that saga!
On to the Chef Mommy bit. Did I mention that I make all of Lily Ruth's baby food? Well, I do. Not because I think I'm better than you, but because I can, and I want to. I love to cook, and cooking is one of the ways that I express my love to my family, so it follows that it would be important to me to do this. I completely understand that normal, healthy children can be raised on jarred baby food. I also understand that healthy, happy children can be raised on formula. I am not in any way judging parents who choose those options. For me, because I CAN breast feed my child (lots of women can't for many different reasons), and because I CAN make her food, it is important to me that I do so. That being said, I also do those things because I love to! I am amazed and grateful that my daughter has grown to 6 months of age and is not only surviving, but thriving on food made by my body. What a blessing and a miracle! And since I love to cook, I am thrilled to be able to do this for her as well!
I am also having so much fun choosing, cooking and pureeing new foods for her. We now share hot oat bran cereal with Greek yogurt in the mornings. She loves to eat out of Mama's bowl with Mama's spoon. For the past few nights, she has protested MIGHTILY at dinner time until a baby entree is produced and she is seated with us and eating. It's adorable. Daddy claims to be in love with the noise that she makes when 'chewing'. I favor the enthusiasm that she has for her mesh feeder. We are as entranced by this new phase of development as we have been with all previous stages - and why not? We are blessed with a superior specimen of baby :-P
Here is a visual on Butternut Squash, Blueberries and Brown Rice Porridge by Mama... my freezer is quickly filling up with baggies of frozen baby food cubes!
and here is my precious darling attacking a frozen cube of applesauce :-)
In case you are wondering, here is where I get my information on homemade baby food... well, first, I o.k.'d this all with my pediatrician, and got great advice from her about current research on when to introduce what foods... now I use this website, and this book, and this book... then after I read too much, I shut off the over-analytical portion of my brain and wing it... Good times...
Enough of this. I really just wanted to post new pictures of Lily Ruth... because I need your opinion - is she getting cuter? Because I think she might be...
On to the Chef Mommy bit. Did I mention that I make all of Lily Ruth's baby food? Well, I do. Not because I think I'm better than you, but because I can, and I want to. I love to cook, and cooking is one of the ways that I express my love to my family, so it follows that it would be important to me to do this. I completely understand that normal, healthy children can be raised on jarred baby food. I also understand that healthy, happy children can be raised on formula. I am not in any way judging parents who choose those options. For me, because I CAN breast feed my child (lots of women can't for many different reasons), and because I CAN make her food, it is important to me that I do so. That being said, I also do those things because I love to! I am amazed and grateful that my daughter has grown to 6 months of age and is not only surviving, but thriving on food made by my body. What a blessing and a miracle! And since I love to cook, I am thrilled to be able to do this for her as well!
I am also having so much fun choosing, cooking and pureeing new foods for her. We now share hot oat bran cereal with Greek yogurt in the mornings. She loves to eat out of Mama's bowl with Mama's spoon. For the past few nights, she has protested MIGHTILY at dinner time until a baby entree is produced and she is seated with us and eating. It's adorable. Daddy claims to be in love with the noise that she makes when 'chewing'. I favor the enthusiasm that she has for her mesh feeder. We are as entranced by this new phase of development as we have been with all previous stages - and why not? We are blessed with a superior specimen of baby :-P
Here is a visual on Butternut Squash, Blueberries and Brown Rice Porridge by Mama... my freezer is quickly filling up with baggies of frozen baby food cubes!
and here is my precious darling attacking a frozen cube of applesauce :-)
In case you are wondering, here is where I get my information on homemade baby food... well, first, I o.k.'d this all with my pediatrician, and got great advice from her about current research on when to introduce what foods... now I use this website, and this book, and this book... then after I read too much, I shut off the over-analytical portion of my brain and wing it... Good times...
Enough of this. I really just wanted to post new pictures of Lily Ruth... because I need your opinion - is she getting cuter? Because I think she might be...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
My New Philosophy
We have a problem. It involves the following elements:
1. The giant air conditioning and heating unit for our house. By giant, I mean G-I-A-N-T. This thing is huge and ugly. It's situated on the back of the house between the master bath and the dining room - the guest bath 'overlooks' it (pretty view...). It's so ugly that we installed a 2X4 with indoor/outdoor matchstick blinds hanging from it to help camouflage it's appearance, but it's still hideous.
2. The Creepy Ginger Cats. Before we closed on this house, my Mama would walk by on her daily morning walk, and she reported that there was a fairly sizable conclave of orange and yellow tabby cats that met in the front yard. After we moved in, they changed their meeting spot to a more clandestine locale, but retained ownership of the backyard. It took almost a year for Keely and the boy cats to establish their perimeter, but by last summer, the ginger kids were only using our yard as a thru-way and not a destination.
3. I have a territorial dog. She absolutely loathes the ginger cats, and goes bat-shit every time she sees one. We're talking hackles up, top-of-her-lungs barking, and lunging full force at the plate glass window. This usually occurs when I have just managed to soothe the baby down for a nap. It takes me forever to quiet the dog and calm her down.
Well, the giant hideous ac unit is not as enclosed as it should be. There is a gap of about 6 inches between the wall and the unit on one side, and apparently, the entire back is empty space. Here's why I think that - it's like a clown car for cats back there. We've always noticed some activity coming and going, but it always seemed to be one or two cats at a time. Now that the weather is colder and wetter, there are larger multiples of cats in and out, and some days it seems that a ridiculous number of animals emerge from there at any given time. Seriously. How many stray ginger cats ARE there in this area? How did they all hear about us? Should I check the curb for a chalk hobo mark? If there is one present, how do I change it from 'Cozy Digs, No Hassle From the Man' to 'Terrible Accommodations - Avoid This Place'?
Today was a Straw/Camel's Back kind of day. Lily Ruth has not been sleeping well at night or napping for more than 30 minutes at a time. The two of us are zombies, and Daddy's only marginally better off. Today was the kind of day wherein I spend the majority of the day attempting to entice Lily Ruth to nap - unsuccessfully. Every time she would start to relax, the clowns would start fighting behind the intake vent (alerting the dog) then they would ramp it up and spill out into the yard and the barking fit would begin. This happened approximately 500 bazillion times. My poor daughter slept for a total of 30 minutes (BTW, that is not enough for a 6 1/2 month old), and I was so fed up with the dog, that I was about to sell her to gypsies.
Around the time that I was about to lose my mind, my Kittyn called (you know the one - the blogger) and talked me off the ledge. During our call, ANOTHER DAMN CAT FIGHT STARTED, and (yep) the dog went nutsos. I tried to Dog Whisper her - kept my voice level, got in between her and the window, moved her back without eye contact - but she was still all pissy and I ended up snapping 'Put your fur down and zip your lips' at her. I thought that was the sort of thing that everybody says to their dog, so I didn't really give it any thought. Well apparently, most folks aren't me, and Kittyn ended up in hysterics over this. Then we realized THIS CAN APPLY TO ANYTHING!
Dog barking - Put your fur down and zip your lips
Girl friend whining about her dumb-ass boyfriend - Put your fur down and zip your lips
Employees not performing their duties - Put your fur down and zip your lips
Service industry employee sasses you - Put your fur down and zip your lips (JUST KIDDING!!! Be nice to service industry employees - karma's a bitch.)
Feeling sorry for yourself, but it's time to get back to life - Put your fur down and zip your lips
You get the picture.
So then I realize that this is perfect for a new life philosophy. It's a no-nonsense, take no prisoners, no whiners allowed way to go about things, and that may be just what I need... I really hope that this catches on... That would please me...
1. The giant air conditioning and heating unit for our house. By giant, I mean G-I-A-N-T. This thing is huge and ugly. It's situated on the back of the house between the master bath and the dining room - the guest bath 'overlooks' it (pretty view...). It's so ugly that we installed a 2X4 with indoor/outdoor matchstick blinds hanging from it to help camouflage it's appearance, but it's still hideous.
2. The Creepy Ginger Cats. Before we closed on this house, my Mama would walk by on her daily morning walk, and she reported that there was a fairly sizable conclave of orange and yellow tabby cats that met in the front yard. After we moved in, they changed their meeting spot to a more clandestine locale, but retained ownership of the backyard. It took almost a year for Keely and the boy cats to establish their perimeter, but by last summer, the ginger kids were only using our yard as a thru-way and not a destination.
3. I have a territorial dog. She absolutely loathes the ginger cats, and goes bat-shit every time she sees one. We're talking hackles up, top-of-her-lungs barking, and lunging full force at the plate glass window. This usually occurs when I have just managed to soothe the baby down for a nap. It takes me forever to quiet the dog and calm her down.
Well, the giant hideous ac unit is not as enclosed as it should be. There is a gap of about 6 inches between the wall and the unit on one side, and apparently, the entire back is empty space. Here's why I think that - it's like a clown car for cats back there. We've always noticed some activity coming and going, but it always seemed to be one or two cats at a time. Now that the weather is colder and wetter, there are larger multiples of cats in and out, and some days it seems that a ridiculous number of animals emerge from there at any given time. Seriously. How many stray ginger cats ARE there in this area? How did they all hear about us? Should I check the curb for a chalk hobo mark? If there is one present, how do I change it from 'Cozy Digs, No Hassle From the Man' to 'Terrible Accommodations - Avoid This Place'?
Today was a Straw/Camel's Back kind of day. Lily Ruth has not been sleeping well at night or napping for more than 30 minutes at a time. The two of us are zombies, and Daddy's only marginally better off. Today was the kind of day wherein I spend the majority of the day attempting to entice Lily Ruth to nap - unsuccessfully. Every time she would start to relax, the clowns would start fighting behind the intake vent (alerting the dog) then they would ramp it up and spill out into the yard and the barking fit would begin. This happened approximately 500 bazillion times. My poor daughter slept for a total of 30 minutes (BTW, that is not enough for a 6 1/2 month old), and I was so fed up with the dog, that I was about to sell her to gypsies.
Around the time that I was about to lose my mind, my Kittyn called (you know the one - the blogger) and talked me off the ledge. During our call, ANOTHER DAMN CAT FIGHT STARTED, and (yep) the dog went nutsos. I tried to Dog Whisper her - kept my voice level, got in between her and the window, moved her back without eye contact - but she was still all pissy and I ended up snapping 'Put your fur down and zip your lips' at her. I thought that was the sort of thing that everybody says to their dog, so I didn't really give it any thought. Well apparently, most folks aren't me, and Kittyn ended up in hysterics over this. Then we realized THIS CAN APPLY TO ANYTHING!
Dog barking - Put your fur down and zip your lips
Girl friend whining about her dumb-ass boyfriend - Put your fur down and zip your lips
Employees not performing their duties - Put your fur down and zip your lips
Service industry employee sasses you - Put your fur down and zip your lips (JUST KIDDING!!! Be nice to service industry employees - karma's a bitch.)
Feeling sorry for yourself, but it's time to get back to life - Put your fur down and zip your lips
You get the picture.
So then I realize that this is perfect for a new life philosophy. It's a no-nonsense, take no prisoners, no whiners allowed way to go about things, and that may be just what I need... I really hope that this catches on... That would please me...
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