Tuesday, June 28, 2011

My 'Baby' Turns TWO!!!

Baby no longer! My Darling One is now a bona-fide two-year-old - and a feisty one at that!

We rang in her natal anniversary with a family party at home. Lunch, presents, swimming and a cake iced in her favorite color - acid green. What more could you ask for? Nothing else - that's what!

It was a very good day, folks. A great day to be Lily Ruth, and a spectacular day to be her parent. I can't WAIT to see what the coming year brings. Knowing Lily Ruth as I do, it's sure to be awe-inspiring. Stay tuned...

Monday, June 27, 2011


06/02/11 - 4 weeks
In the midst of my entire life exploding into metaphorical flames, I perform a home pregnancy test. POSITIVE!!! Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy! Oh. Huh.

I call the midwife practice in a fit of optimism, and due to my recent losses they want to see me sooner than their regular 10-12 week window. My first appointment will be in just over a week!

06/05/11 - 4 weeks 3 days
I act like the obsessive compulsive that I am and perform yet another test. The 'pregnant' line shows up before the control line - just like it  did with Lily Ruth!

Top test - 4 weeks / Bottom test - 4w 3d... pregnant people do crazy stuff... like taking pictures of things that we've peed on...
I'm ridiculously bloated. I can't bear to have shorts or pants press against any part of my abdomen. I've also had several days of near constant aching and twinges, yet I'm not worried about them. They feel normal.

06/08/11 - 4 weeks 6 days
Had my first (last?!) bout of nausea yesterday. We took Lily Ruth out around 4:30, and it was so hot that I thought I was going to either die or throw up. I didn't do either, but I was nauseated until almost 8. Ugh. Still bloated. Still cramping. Still fine with it. :-)

06/09/10 - 5 weeks!!!
I told my husband that I thought the bloating was better today. He said 'Oh.' That's it. Just 'oh'. That means I'm delusional - the bloating is the same... :-P

06/13/11 - 5 weeks 4 days
The evening nausea is now a 'thing' :-/ If I have to leave the house around 5 pm, it's worse because the heat sets it off. If I stay in, it's set off by attempts to plan and/or prepare dinner. Thanks, Baby :-P

06/14/11 - 5 weeks 5 days
Had our first appointment today! The midwives and their assistants AND their support staff are wonderful. Since it's so early in my pregnancy, all they did was a urine test (totally pregnant) and take blood for blood work. My next appointment (with ultrasound!!!) is July 19 (10w 5d) :-)

We've unofficially decided to tell folks over Lily Ruth's birthday weekend. I'll be just over 7 weeks - past my personal freak-out period, so YAY!

06/18/11 - 6 weeks 2 days
I bought flannel and satin to make a baby blanket! I am suffering from a bit of guilt since I didn't make anything for Lily Ruth until the leg warmer juggernaut started... but she turned out just fine... and I'm feeling ambitious :-)

I'm also changing my mind about names. We had our boy name from last time, and Don found a new girl name, but now I don't know... the girl name can stay, but boy name...

06/21/11 - 6 weeks 5 days
My blood work came back. Everything looks good except for my progesterone.  I actually spoke to my midwife about progesterone at my appointment. Some of my on-line reading suggested that low progesterone might be to blame for multiple losses, therefore progesterone supplementation might be indicated. The midwife said that all of the emerging research shows that progesterone supplementation might not make a difference. In fact, it's not clear if low progesterone levels cause multiple losses or if they are a sign of multiple losses.

But while it is not clear if supplementation helps, it doesn't seem to do any damage. So since my level was so low, she'd be happy to offer the supplement, but she didn't feel that it was necessary. I dithered back and forth all day about weather or not to supplement. I called a friend who I lovingly refer to as 'Mrs. Science'. I googled obsessively. I asked my mom for help from her librarian at work. I played phone tag with my midwife all afternoon. As the day finally ends, I decided to let nature take it's course. At this point, it's so early that if my own body isn't ready to support a healthy pregnancy on it's own, then it might be a really bad idea to force the issue.

06/24/11 - 7 weeks 1 day
We shared the news with Don's parents today! Rolling right along!

06/26/11 - 7 weeks 3 days
Now, to tell the whole entire internet...

Sunday, June 26, 2011


In case you hadn't guessed, Lily Ruth and I made it to the aquarium again. Daddy had to work down there last week, so we drove down with him, and played while he worked. Poor Daddy.

Lily Ruth is so funny! I let her 'take' several pictures of the dolphins in the underwater viewing area. Immediately following each one, she would turn the screen around, and run up to the window excitedly yelling 'dau-fins, is YOU! Is YOU dau-fins!' She genuinely couldn't understand why they didn't rush over to see themselves on camera.

At one point, she had been sitting quietly with me on a bench when she abruptly jumped down and ran over to the window. She whapped both hands against the glass just as one of the dolphins swam by. He stopped, flipped over onto his back, and glided in (nose first) toward her with his mouth open in a huge grin. Just so you know, an upside-down dolphin grin is VERY toothy. Lily jumped, shrieked and looked at me with wide eyes. I said 'he's so silly! That silly boy is playing with you!' She thought about it for a short second, grinned, turned back to the dolphin and giggled. He obligingly lingered near her turning, flipping and generally showing off. Heaven.

We had a great time. In addition to extensive time with her new boyfriend the dolphin, we petted rays, flirted with turtles, and learned to swing from handrails... thank you, hoodlum jerk kids, now my daughter is obsessed with swinging from things meant to keep people back from exhibits... but it was worth it.

Since it was almost her birthday, we bought a little something in the gift shop. Lily Ruth is delighted with her new water bottle :-)

She had to take it to Starbucks the next day and show it off to her barrista friends. She was so excited that she even SPOKE to Abby - who has been waiting for that day for a very long while!

Cutie Patootie, no?

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Lily Ruth Loves Daddy

When he's not home, she wears his clothes.

The other morning, she helped him pick a tie. When he left for work, she helped herself to another one and stood in front of the mirror. 'Uth pick Daddy TIEEE! Uth look niiiiice!'

 Today, she commandeered his Muppets t-shirt when he went out to clean the pool. 'Uth Muppets shirt!'

She wore it until nap time :-) Happy Father's Day, Uth Daddy!

The Rhythm of Sleeplessness

Lily Ruth woke up around 12:30. Her daddy went in to rock and soothe her. They fell asleep in the rocker. When they woke up around 2 am, she was AWAKE, and was in dire need of a diaper change. This woke her up even more... so she came in with us.

She spent the next hour trying to go back to sleep. Sort of.

*flop*... *sigh*... (whispered) 'Mama... mamamamaMAma'... She performs her signature alligator death roll that pins my boob under her shoulder, and lands her nose to nose with me. Her thumb in her mouth. The fingers of that hand butterfly tapping my cheek. Her breath on my mouth. 'Mama' *kiss* 'Mama' *sigh*. I do my best impersonation of a log.

She tries lying on top of me. Toes wiggle across my thighs. Sweaty head turns restlessly on my chest. Tiny hands weave tightly into my hair. *sigh* She digs her toes into my legs and launches herself toward my face. Her nose lands in my mouth and I suppress a snort. She kisses my chin, pats my face and whispers 'wuff you, Mama.' *sigh*... It's just after 3 am. We've now been awake for an hour.

I ask her if she wants to try sleeping in her bed again. 'Yesh.' The two of us grab my pillow and a blanket, and head into her room. I try to snag her mattress for myself (leaving the adjacent floor mats for her), but she alligator death rolls herself into 'her' spot in the center of her bed, grabs her agua, and pulls the blanket over her shoulders. I scoot reluctantly onto the mats. She asks me to share her pillow. We move into her favorite thumb-in-mouth-fingers-on-mama's-face position. I impersonate a log again.

She taps. She flops. She sighs. She wiggles. She whisper-sings 'Chicken Monkey Duck, Chicken Monkey Duck...' I suppress another snort. I roll away from her and doze off briefly. I awake as she begins to pull my hair and yell 'Daddy!!!!'. It's now after 4 am.

We move to the rocker. Every couple of minutes she jolts and pulls at the blanket. 'Happened, Mama? Happened?' 'Nothing happened, Baby Girl. Go to sleep.' As she snuggles into me, I feel her bird-light bones and soft muscles slide smoothly under her amazing skin. I actively wish that my hands were larger so that I could feel more of her.

Gradually, her muscles go slack, and her thumb falls out of her mouth. We move back to the floor for a final round of face tapping. Her breathing begins to slow into a sleep pattern, and I almost weep with exhaustion. It's going on 4:30 am.

At 5:15 am, the dog bursts in panting agitatedly and whining. If she wakes up the baby, I will have to kill her. I pick my aching body up off the floor and move to the door to let her outside. Then I wait for her to come back in. Then I put myself to bed.

For Father's Day, my husband gets up with our daughter at 7:30 and lets me sleep until 9:30. He's officially my hero.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Artist Speaks

For Lily Ruth, paint isn't just paint. It's performance art.

Things start thoughtfully with color on paper:

Then it's time to add in body painting:

Then, a little ABBA:

Then, you yell 'TA DA!'

Then you stand up so that Mama can see the full finished product:

Then it's all over except the bath and the floor scrubbing. Take a bow, Baby!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wait, What?

Lily Ruth and I were nose to nose. It was nap time, but we were having a snuggle first. I whispered 'I love, love, love you Lily Ruth. Mama loves you sooooo much.' My darling daughter replied 'You're welcome, Mommy.'


Lily Ruth has definitely started to dream. This morning she sat straight up and said 'NO Keely! Is MY dinosaur!' then started to cry. I asked her what was wrong, and she said 'No Keely take Yih-yee Uth dinosaur. Is MY dinosaur!' It took her 2 or 3 minutes to shake off the dream and wake up.

Poor Keely. She's never taken any of Lily's toys, but today she's getting the Old Stink Eye from a highly suspicious toddler :-P


If Lily Ruth doesn't like what you have to say... or maybe didn't hear you... or if she's trying to buy some time while she concocts an answer... she cocks her cute little head to the side and says 'HUH?'


Little Miss Wild Hair has been on a 'NO CHONGOS!' (pigtails) kick. She'll submit to a de-tangling comb-through, but has preferred to let her hair flow free. My own hair is longer than it has been in years. While I'm enjoying the change, it takes FOREVER to dry so I've been a bit creative lately when attempting to avoid the tedious process of washing and styling my mop. I have re-awakened some of my long-shelved favorite styles - some of which are probably not age appropriate. Like the two French braids I was rocking the other morning. Lily Ruth was enthralled. It was just like when my hair is wet. Every time she saw me, she'd plug her thumb into her mouth and her free hand would creep toward my hair. If she couldn't reach my head, she would coyly ask 'Uth touch Mama hair?'.

I finally asked her if she wanted me to braid her hair like mine. 'YES!' In no time, she had two of the cutest, sloppiest braids this side of the Pecos - rivaled only by my own. She cautiously put a hand to the back of her head to explore her 'do. A pleased smile crept across her face. She looked up at me and said 'Uth touch Mama hair?'

There's just no pleasing some people :-P

Saturday, June 11, 2011


Lily Ruth has had her own blocks for a while now. In fact, I decided that one set wasn't enough fun, so I bought two. That's right. She has two sets of blocks. That she has mainly ignored for almost a year.

Last week, something about the blocks at the museum caught her eye. She has passed them several times a week for the last few months. They never even got a second glance until now. The last grubby kid to play with them must have left them in a particularly alluring state because she was enthralled. She poked and stacked and pried blocks apart for ages. I crouched anxiously with a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer just waiting for the instant that she set them down.

She's hooked. She babbled about blocks all of the way home, and was thrilled at the reminder that she already has some of her very own. She couldn't wait to give them a go, and even danced excitedly as I unzipped their bag and helped her dump them onto the floor.

Our first order of business was a chair for Lucy:

 Then the chair got taller and a bit more precarious:

Lily Ruth helped me take that last picture. Then she asked to hold the phone. She carefully turned it around and showed the picture to Lucy. 'Is YOU, Lucy!' Sooooo cute!

The tower eventually fell to cries of 'Happened? Happened, Mama?!' She hasn't yet discovered the joy of knocking them down, and it hurt her feelings to watch it crumble.

The next night, it was Daddy's turn to build with Lily Ruth. Once again, a chair for Lucy was first on the agenda. Then Lily started stacking the single blocks two-high and declaring that they were bottles for 'Lucy Milk'. Apparently, Lucy is very thirsty. She required upwards of twenty bottles.

Also, block are hard work. When you are done, it's time a round of pretend napping.
 But don't forget Lucy's bottles. Musn't forget the bottles. Being a good mama is tough.

I'm just excited that her fine motor skills are progressing! Being verbally advanced is all well and good (:-P), but it makes mama happy to see that her mind is opening in other areas as well.

Oh, and I have to throw this one in as a completely gratuitous 'I love my daughter' moment. I'm rarely awake before her in the mornings. These days, she comes in with me around 6 and we doze until 7:30, but she's she one who wakes me up. She tends to sit bolt upright and declare 'Ake up, Mama!' It was good for my heart to be able to watch her sleep :-) 

Dream richly, my lovely one. Mama loves you.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Tell Me More

Yesterday at the park, Lily Ruth and Henry were following Jett around. Jett is four, and he's their hero. Lily Ruth spent several minutes trying to get him to notice the birds. When he finally figured out what she wanted, he announced that he would like to chase the birds. I said 'go for it', and the four of us got up to run after birds. Jett told me that his name wasn't Jett, it was something like 'Happy Thunder'. Lily Ruth followed this up with the pronouncement that her name was 'Doctor Porkchop'. I almost fell over. I asked if her name was 'Mister Evil Doctor Porkchop'. 'Yesh'. Thanks, Pixar :-P If anybody is wondering, Lily Ruth would like a copy of Toy Story 3 for her birthday. It's breaking her heart that she can't watch it on Netflix any more.

After chasing some birds, they decided to just run. They ran and ran and ran. My baby ran like she's never run before. Her beautifully free-form strides bouncing after her friends. Her hair floating around her face. Her happy squeals at being part of the game ringing out over the grass.

She fell twice. Normally, falling is a huge production that requires 'Mama hold you' and bandages on imagined hurts. This time, falling was just part of the deal. She was so thrilled to be included in the gang that she got back up, brushed off her actual wounds and kept going... until she got tired of being the slowest one... then she started to cry and demand that Jett hug her. Nicely played, my dear. Who can resist hugging Lily Ruth?

My baby girl is part of a gang. A happy, running, loving gang.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Mama Groups

Lily Ruth and I went to the park today. It just so happened that 4 other mamas we know were able to bring their kiddos as well. This was a first for us. It was wonderful.

Five mamas with various combinations of offspring. Everyone sitting and playing and eating and laughing together. Nobody jealous or competing. This is what community is. This is how motherhood should be.

My good friend Suzan and I were recently discussing the fact that motherhood has become a competitive sport. Most mamas are like crabs in a bucket - dragging anybody down if they manage to climb up above the others. Instead of celebrating each other, women seem to be competing for non-existent titles like 'Gave Up The Most To Have A Child', 'Best Kid Equipment', 'Most Martyred' or 'Most Accomplished Toddler'. When I talk to other mothers, a lot of them are green-eyed and wacko unless I happen to give them a 'flaw' - 'my daughter is un-coordinated', 'my toddler can't dress herself' (by the way, those aren't actually flaws, they're just things. Things that she'll figure out eventually in her own time)  - that they can use to measure themselves and their children against. It's exhausting.

This whole phenomenon is something that I want to explore in more depth. Give me some time to really collect my thoughts. Oh, do YOU have something to say on the subject? Still looking for guest bloggers...

Sunday, June 5, 2011


SO, I loved Haiku Wednesday, and apparently, so did my mom. She didn't post her replies directly here, but I'm taking the liberty of adding them as they trickle in :-P

Today, she found a marauder in our garden. A Squash Boring Beetle (gak.) - they bore into the core of the plant and it d-i-e-s :-( Here is what she sent to me:

red and black villain
boring beetle looking fancy
now sucks squash no more

Ya'll, I snorted when I read that. Pure genius.

Since my world is still on fire, I don't have a lot to add... bye... :-)

Friday, June 3, 2011

*le sigh*

Ya'll my life has kind of exploded this week. Unless Lily Ruth does something AMAZINGly noteworthy (and face it, we all know that she will), I'll be taking a bit of a break from sharing every moment of my life on a public forum. If anybody wants to guest post something (PLEASE, somebody say yes!)... perhaps a funny story or a craft or a recipe... I'd love to open up le blog to you!

You can contact me at aintelmosworld(at)yahoo(dot)com or leave a me a comment with some info :-)

For now, I leave you with a video of the World's Most Amazing Lily Ruth singing (what else) 'Mama Mia' (note: she was singing full-bore on her own before I pulled out the camera. Once she saw it, she clammed up and I started coaching her. I absolutely adore how she yells 'MY, MY... MISS YOU... BROKEN HEARTED!' right before it cuts off.):

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Haiku Wednesday - Edit :-)

Tattoo Vespa Guy
please stop spitting and speed up
behind you we wait


I'm thinking of you
pool of palest aqua blue
... about to jump in


stupid internet
hours wasted - eyes so tired
why must you taunt me


I could go on like this for hours, folks :-)

What say you? Want to play?

Edit: my mom's REALLY good at this!

Thursday Garden Haiku:

green aspirations
moon and stars watermelon
tendrils snatching beans