Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Open Letter to the Ginger Cats

Dear Feral Gingers that the Batty Old Lady Next Door Feeds,

Remember when we had decided to buy this house and my Mama walked past it every morning and reported that a bazillion of you had daily meetings on our lawn?

Remember when we moved in and we didn't forcibly evict you, but chose to let you wander in and out of our yard(s)?

Remember the times that you kept me, my husband and my dog up all night having cat sex behind our air conditioning unit?

Remember when one of you had kittens behind that same air conditioning unit (more than once)?

Remember how I allowed all of this because I felt sorry for you?

Well, my days of allowing you casual access to my yard and my life are O-V-E-R. You assholes have shredded my air conditioning intake and output ducts. During one of the hottest summers on record in this town, my family has been paying close to $500 every month so that your cat-sex-den could be air conditioned. You're outta here, you jerks. Do not come back. I am so very serious, and you do NOT want to test me on this one.

Sincerely,
One PISSED OFF, Overheated Mama

3 comments:

  1. OK, I've read this 3 times and I would be laughing hysterically if it wasn't such a terrible situation. I hope gingers everywhere take heed!

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  2. There are many aspects of the Ginger Cat Domination that are amusing. Working with fiberglass insulation was not one of them :-/

    The look of surprise on their faces every time that they make eye contact with one of us is...

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  3. Mwahahahahahaha!!!

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