Tuesday, January 10, 2012


I just left my mama a voice mail message (she's at work). I believe it went like this: 'Mom, Mom, MOM! GRAY HAIR! Call me.' *click*

Today was already on my shit list. I'm not sleeping well again. In addition, Lily Ruth had a fever yesterday and was attached to me like a limpet. By the time I finally passed out after midnight, I was beyond drained. Today found me exhausted, cranky and battling a monster headache, but ready to give it a go. Then I over-conditioned my hair and (not surprisingly) couldn't find an outfit that didn't make me feel like a whale. *sigh*

I was still gamely trying until The Great Nap Battle of 01/10/12. Wanna guess who won? Not me. My opponent is happily nattering on about princesses, car keys and flowers. I am trying to find an inner well spring of fortitude. I decided to try to tie my hair back in a funky/fun braid and maybe venture out to the grocery store or the park. In the process, I found a GRAY HAIR. At first, I assumed that it was a cat or dog hair stuck in my regular hair - a ridiculously common experience around here. Then I pulled on it, and it was attached to my skull. Then I yanked it out in a blind panic and stared at the good inch and a half of gray leading into a 'badly in need of coloring' strand that terminated with a split end. dammit.

I'm still staring at it.

Hey, can you come over and watch my kid so that I can go out and make some really bad choices just to prove that I'm still young enough to do so? Thanks.

** Update ** So, I made it to the grocery store (with a sad, sloppy ponytail instead of a cool braid) and the liquor store. I even found ginger vodka! I adore ginger! Then I came home and found out that my dog had not only rolled in poop while outside, but she had then come inside and peed on my NEW futon mattress - that's right, the mattress that's replacing the one that the cats peed on until it was no longer clean-able. I was livid... and a bit freaked out because my housekeeper told me to put a mattress cover on that thing just 24 short hours prior to this disaster - is she psychic? No, it's more likely that she just knows us really well...

*sigh* Well, the futon tag has helpful cleaning tips like 'dry it out outside - fresh air will take away the odors'. Seriously? Jerks. I blotted up as much as I could then covered the wet part in baking soda that I will vacuum off later today. This led to Lily Ruth playing with baking soda while I unpacked the groceries, mixed myself a yummy cocktail and started dinner. She was enthralled with that stuff. Maybe we'll try the cornstarch and water trick today - that feels like magic!

I guess the morals of my sad, sorry tale are that: 1) Gray hair is not fatal - not even your first one. 2) There is always something worse lurking around the corner - do NOT tempt fate by declaring your current situation to be the 'worst day of your life'. This will force the fates to prove you wrong. Not that I did that yesterday, but I came close... 3) Vodka is not just for breakfast anymore.

p.s. I finally managed my funky/fun braid! Also, did you know that it is extremely difficult to take a picture of the back of your own head?


  1. Congratulations on your first gray hair! Nothing has made me feel quite as grown up--kinda like Easy Spirit pumps and perusing the latest issue of More magazine. (choke choke) David panicked over all the gray in his beard this morning, so we decided it was time to declare ourselves "silver foxes" and move on.

    (I just texted him to come home with the ginger vodka, or else)

  2. Su, I'm either the last of my peers to develop a gray hair or completely delusional - which one do you think it is? Don had less than zero sympathy for me as he goes almost completely gray in times of stress... um, he's been pretty gray lately...

    Ginger vodka rules. Period.

  3. You are the last of us to get the grays. Totally.

    Love the star tutorial!