Sunday, July 24, 2011


I'm a bit of a mess. I finally (physically) feel like the miscarriage is over, but I'm not ready to deal with the emotional component.

I had a Missed Miscarriage. The embryo stops growing, but your body doesn't get the message for a while. Your entire system continues to behave as though you are carrying a healthy pregnancy. From reading about it, four to five weeks before your loss is about average. The big difference this time around was that instead of just a really uncomfortable period, I actually had to go through labor. Not as intensely as giving birth to a full term infant, but unpleasant nonetheless. With the added awfulness of not having a baby at the end.

This weekend, I am more like myself. We've spent lots of time playing in a very rowdy manner with our daughter. I'm actually cooking meals and doing household chores. Our life is resuming it's rhythm.

I can go swimming again. Lily Ruth is thrilled. She is turning into a mermaid. She kicks and flips, turns and spins underwater. She can hold her breath for an astonishingly long time! I love the sound of her laughter bubbling up ahead of her as she bursts free of the water.

I washed and put away the maternity clothes. I have a friend who is almost ready to spill the beans at her job, so maybe she can use them.

I want to give that same friend a hand-made baby gift, but had not come up with an idea that pleased me. She's due in November, and having a boy. This morning, I remembered the tree frog flannel that I bought to make into a blanket for my little one. It will be perfect for them. Also, now it will not be staring at me every time that I open my crafting supplies.

One day at a time, right?

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