Lily Ruth and I went to the park today. It just so happened that 4 other mamas we know were able to bring their kiddos as well. This was a first for us. It was wonderful.
Five mamas with various combinations of offspring. Everyone sitting and playing and eating and laughing together. Nobody jealous or competing. This is what community is. This is how motherhood should be.
My good friend Suzan and I were recently discussing the fact that motherhood has become a competitive sport. Most mamas are like crabs in a bucket - dragging anybody down if they manage to climb up above the others. Instead of celebrating each other, women seem to be competing for non-existent titles like 'Gave Up The Most To Have A Child', 'Best Kid Equipment', 'Most Martyred' or 'Most Accomplished Toddler'. When I talk to other mothers, a lot of them are green-eyed and wacko unless I happen to give them a 'flaw' - 'my daughter is un-coordinated', 'my toddler can't dress herself' (by the way, those aren't actually flaws, they're just things. Things that she'll figure out eventually in her own time) - that they can use to measure themselves and their children against. It's exhausting.
This whole phenomenon is something that I want to explore in more depth. Give me some time to really collect my thoughts. Oh, do YOU have something to say on the subject? Still looking for guest bloggers...
I'm still chewing on our conversation, too, and will write something soon. Not sure what you are looking for in a guest post, but you are welcome to repost Dalai Mama if you want to, but it will not hurt my feelings if you don't.
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