Why I Don't Get Anything Done

Here was my list for today:

1. Drop Lily Ruth off at Parent's Day Out
2. Go to Central Market for the 'specialty items'
3. Go to regular HEB for the regular stuff
4. Finish my blog post on kid food
5. Make a few more Halloween felt toys
6. Dump the yucky stuff from the fridge and do the dishes

Here's what I've done:

1. Drop Lily Ruth off at Parent's Day Out

2. Go to Central Market for the 'specialty items'

3. Stare at my truly awe inspiring pile of felt and haphazardly sketch a few 'bats' that look more like butterflies

4. Google 'Halloween bat stencils' and gaze dispiritedly at the results

5. Scroll through Baby Center and post on a couple of threads

6. Talk on the phone for 45 minutes

7. Scrounge through the guest room looking for the manual for my broken phone

8. Find the manual then decide to rearrange the mountain of clutter in the guest room (BTW, mountain is not an exaggeration. If anything, it is too kind.)

9. Spend over an hour hauling paper bags of books into new positions and sadly pawing through numerous boxes of JUNK MAIL before deciding that it all needs to be truly sorted before throwing it out.

10. Sit on the couch sneezing from the dust stirred up by the rearrangement process and blog about NOT finishing my previous blog post while gazing glassy-eyed at Logo TV.

Here, have a gander at Lily Ruth telling me how silly she is. It's only 27 seconds long (because my crummy old phone only records for 27 seconds at a time), so you'll be in and out in no time:

That's the best I can manage for now. I have to go pretend like I'm gonna to clean the kitchen. In reality, I'm probably gonna hunt down some chocolate then take a bath and read a book.

Another 'Tidbits' Post

It feels like all of my posts have been in Weekly Wrap-Up format lately. I haven't had any great stories to tell, but there are still things that I want to document. I've also noticed that yet another week has gone by without regular posts. I just haven't had the energy. I feel more like myself today, so maybe things are on an up-swing :-)

In Lily Ruth news, she now says 'baf' for bath and 'ICE, ICE, ICE' in reference to anything frozen. She references frozen foods MANY times each day. She loves all forms of frozen treats. I've taken to freezing her organic baby-sized yogurts so that she'll eat them more often. So far, she's just as excited about that as ice cream or juice popsicles. She is also obsessed with carrying things in containers. She has the felt purses that I made for her and two Halloween buckets with handles. She fills them all up with various items, stacks the containers, and attempts to carry them all (at the same time) to a new location. Then she unloads them all, sorts through the items, reloads them and starts off for greener pastures.

In Halloween news, I've decided against making an elaborate costume. Lily's too young to remember this year, and it's really hard to make a 16-month-old wear something that she doesn't want to. I'll save my energy and effort for next year. I had already made yet another dress up skirt. Here it is - modeled by her giraffe (since she was at Mother's Day Out when I wanted to take pics):

It's 3 layers. Aqua trimmed in orange balls, black trimmed in candy corn ribbon and orange tulle trimmed with black ric-rac. Add the a cute onesie I found on sale at baby gap:

and that's what she's going to wear. Not a costume, but a festive outfit. She'll have darling pigtails (since she refuses to wear hats), and if it's cool enough, coordinating leg warmers (of course). We're debating the purchase of baby-sized Chuck Taylors to finish it off. My only reservation there is the rigid sole. Lily Ruth has only worn soft-soled shoes. Her balance isn't awesome, and her pediatrician agrees that she's better off barefoot or in soft shoes until she's sturdy... I would LOVE to see her tiny feet in shoes that match mine, though :-P

In crummy news, Frank is still missing. I don't think he's going to make it back. My heart is broken. Also, Bing is still not 100% better. This only fuels my suspicion that they got into something poisonous :-(

In family news, we drove to Houston so that Lily Ruth could meet her Great Aunt Sharon and Great Uncle John who were visiting from Hawai'i. Lily Ruth wore her Hawai'ian dress in honor of the occasion:

She also ate red frosting in honor of Uncle Brad's birthday:

and did some hot tubbing:

I love that picture. It looks a bit 'art-y', but in reality, Daddy was shooting blind since it was pitch black out there. He would just point the camera in her general direction and hope for the best. I deleted a lot of pictures of my knee and the top of her head. We had a good time with our family. Lily especially approves of Tutu and Pops' new dachshund puppy. Pele is Lily Ruth-sized and completely lovable. They got along like a house afire. Soooooooo cute!

That's enough for now. Maybe later I'll post about my new favorite recipe and Lily Ruth's kicking skills. That kid has some mad skills, yo.

Crummy Week

This has been quite a week, and it's not over yet.

It started on Sunday with me allowing Lily Ruth free access to my phone... which resulted in her KILLING the display with drool. I have now lost over a year's worth of new contact information, and may not be able to restore it. A friend suggested that this might be a way to cull some of the deadwood out of my life. I can send out a general call for phone numbers via e-mail and social networking. Anyone who doesn't respond might not want to / deserve to / need to be reached.

Monday found me rushing to the vet with Bing. He was bleeding... 'down there'. It was like a crime scene in  my kitchen when I noticed, yet he was completely oblivious. So far, all of his tests (blood and fecal) have been normal, and he's back home, but he doesn't seem to feel great. He also seems to have very irritated eyes. I HATE to have one of my babies is hurting, but I'm also feeling the pinch of the over $400 we just spent on him, so I am loathe to return to the vet so soon.

Monday was also the last time that I saw Frank. He has wandered off before, but never for this long. I am freaking out, you guys. Today it hit me that there is a very real chance that the boys got into something poisonous that made Bing sick and possibly killed Frank. We have combed the houses on all sides of us. I called all of the area vet clinics. I put an ad on Craig's List, and will probably make fliers tomorrow. I can't find my guy. It's killing me.

Tuesday was alright except for the stress leading into Don's procedure. None of us got any real sleep. Lily Ruth kept waking up angry, standing up in the center of our bed and howling. Then she would throw herself down and sob back to sleep.

Wednesday started bright and early. My mama came over to watch Lily Ruth (who slept in until after 10! **edit** Lily Ruth's Nanny begs to differ - apparently, Lily Ruth began waking up every half hour or so around 6:30. She would look around and moan 'Mama' then go back to sleep... or crawl down the bed to be as far from Nanny as possible... but she didn't get up until almost 10.) and Don and I headed for the hospital. We were taken back to the cardiac prep area immediately, but we were third in line, and had to wait until 10:15 before it was his turn. I felt so scared and panic-y before they started, but as soon as he was in the operating theatre with the doctor (who I think of as 'The Guy Who Knows All Of The Stuff), I felt very calm. At that point, it went from being a complete unknown to being a matter of time before we had some answers. Even if the news was bad, it would be a known quantity with a treatment plan. His procedure was short - only 45 minutes. The doctor found some plaque in his aorta, but not enough to require a stent. The blockage that he already had remained at the same level as last time. So, not great, but fairly good news :-/ We were home by 2 with scary post-procedural instructions about things like not lifting anything over 10 pounds and holding the incision if he has to sneeze.

Today was... fine... Lily Ruth was cranky pretty much all day. I'm a zombie, but (as usual) I can't switch off enough to sleep or even just rest. Don was home, but at odds since he couldn't DO anything. Keely is chewing all of her fur off. Bing is squinting and has his creepy cat 3rd eyelids showing... and Frank is still gone.

To top it all off, Lily Ruth has decided that she doesn't nurse in the daytime any more. My boobs beg to differ. Now I have to decide if I should pump to relieve the engorgement, or endure the pain and let my supply manage itself. Why couldn't she drop even one of her numerous night time feedings instead? We were down to 3 nursing sessions during the day. We still do 4 - 6 overnight. No lie. No real rest for Mama, either.

This is another example of a time when I wish that I could be selfish and just fall apart, but I can't. I have to hold it together and take care of my family. I think I can do that. Maybe. Ask me later...

:-O

I mentioned in my last post that Daddy Don has to have a 'procedure'. It's true. He does. He's having a Cardiac Catheterization tomorrow morning. This is his second catheterization. The first one was done more as a baseline test, and was done several years ago. Daddy Don has a family history that involves serious heart trouble, so he sees an Intervention Cardiologist - a doctor who proactively meets with, examines and treats him instead of waiting until he has a cardiac incident.

This procedure is not a baseline. It is being performed because the doctor was not happy with Don's EKG and stress test results.

I have been a mess of anxiety since we found out about this last Friday. I hold it together pretty well on the surface (I think), but I have moments of pure panic (what will they find? what if the procedure goes badly? etc...). In an attempt to keep myself calm, I went to the Mayo Clinic website to read about Cardiac Catheterization. Um, now I am FREAKING OUT. I have too much detailed information in my head, and I have a VERY vivid imagination.

So now I'm blogging about my freak out and watching Elmo with Lily Ruth. Elmo is not helping. Lily Ruth is, though. There have been multiple times since her conception that the actuality of having a child either gestating in your body or in need of your constant care has kept me going. This is one of those times. It's impossible to go completely off the rails when somebody this awesome needs you. You keep it together even though you might rather crawl into a bottle of vodka... which would accomplish nothing...

Oi. Pray for me, people. I'm gonna need the Big Guy's ear for a bit.

Not really up to posting...

I feel like I have a lot to say, but no way to get it out of my teeming brain and onto the screen. I am a veritable whirlwind of thoughts, yet none of them are coherent enough to create a post. Here's what I'm brewing (these may never come to fruition... especially now since I may claim THIS as having 'written about it'...):

I am terrible at running into people I used to know. I freeze, then babble, then wander off. They probably think I'm (literally) crazy.

My daughter has started growling. That's right - growling. If she sees a picture of a big animal (tiger, dinosaur, bear), she growls. Adorable.

It is so awesome outside that I wish I could knock down all of my walls and replace them with mosquito netting.

My husband is awful at taking care of himself - case in point, he will be undergoing a minor yet terrifying 'procedure' ON HIS HEART this week.

My dreams are so vivid that I wake up convinced that I am psychic and have just had a vision. This ALWAYS turns out to be not true. I am not even a little bit psychic.

I need a new career. If you know of something that I would be good at that doesn't require working evenings, weekends and holidays... and wouldn't BORE ME TO DEATH (:-P), please let me know.

That is all for now. More later. Maybe.

Coooooler Weather!

Well, relatively speaking... It has actually been nice and cool when we wake up, but it STILL works it's way up to blisteringly hot by nap time.

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Lily Ruth and I are still swimming at Miss Diana's most days, but our days of salt water bliss are numbered. She has already had to heat her pool once due to rain and low ambient temperatures for a few days in a row. This signals the end of swim lesson season. There will be one more two-week cycle, then no more :-( Our own pool was delightfully algae-free for those same cool days, but is now flaring up in response to the warmer temps. We just can't seem to get ahead this year!

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Sweet Lily Ruth has been feeling giddily adventurous what with all this change, and has taken to running full-tilt at life. This has resulted in her first, second, and possibly third round of skinned knees. They aren't that bad, but she CANNOT seem to ignore them. Left in her carseat, she will pick at the tiny scabs unendingly. Thank goodness for baby legwarmers! My obsession is finally paying off. I can cover her knees with them which stops both the skinning and the picking.

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Ya'll, the cutest thing in the world has happened! Lily Ruth's hair is long enough for pigtails *squeeeee*

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The 'I can do it MYSELF' phase continues (big surprise).

This is how most of my walks go... except I don't usually have Daddy's help so I juggle stroller, dog, coffee and walking baby all by myself. This means that (once again) I am working on my patience. The weather makes me eager to get outside with my daughter, but I guess that I imagined it more on MY terms. I had visions of striding forcefully along and really feeling my body move again. I could see my thighs slimming down as my buns lifted and my strength returned. I saw me, but not us, because what actually happens is a bit different.

In actuality, our walk begins with me reigning in a dog who is trying to drag us down the street. Then we settle in a bit, and hit our stride. Then we make it to Starbucks, and the battle begins in earnest. Lily Ruth and I negotiate our entrance - does she want to walk or be carried? Does she want a juice or a yogurt? Does she want to help Mama stir? Does she want to sit in a chair or walk around? Now it's time to go - do you want to help Mama with the doggie, or sit in your stroller? Well, now you HAVE to sit in your stroller because we have to cross a busy street. I'm sorry that it makes you mad enough to kick, but I am REALLY tired of the mess created by flying juice/coffee/snacks.

Once we get to a less traveled street, my angel asks to get out of her stroller and walk. Well, not just walk but push the stroller, scold the dog, step on every crunchy leaf, pick up tiny rocks and interesting sticks, walk with one foot on the verge AND shake her head emphatically 'NO' any time I ask if I can pick her up or if she'd like to ride in the stroller again. It takes forever to get 5 feet. I try to remind myself that she is my job and we don't have anywhere to be but here. That doesn't help. I get bored, frustrated and irritated. Then I calm down, and we continue... at a snail's pace... and I get hot... and the dog starts to pull again... and I end up forcing a screaming baby into her stroller - apologizing to her as she flails and cries giant tears. Then we race home in tense silence broken only by tiny sobs or frantic protestations (if I try to sing or cajole a smile). *le sigh*

Does she have my number or what?!

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Ya'll know it's not all tantrums and misery, right? It's not. It's really, really not. It's just easier to whine than rejoice. Let's balance it out!

There's taking rides on Grandpa's  ('PA!') office chair:

There's nights out at the Botanical Gardens:

There's angelic light while visiting with friends:

Lots of good stuff... oh, did I tell you that I'm thinking of making a String Cheese costume for Lily Ruth?  I am. Thinking about it. We'll see...