Monday, May 10, 2010

One of Those Days

It was just one of those days. You know. The kind of day that makes you feel like you are doing everything wrong. You know intellectually that you cannot be doing EVERYTHING wrong, but it still feels that way.

Since Lily Ruth had been sick, our routine (HA!) was slightly disrupted. I was sure that she felt better, so we were attempting to go about our normal day. That was fine until nap time. At that point, she gave in to her exhaustion, and began yelling at me... and she didn't stop for 2 1/2 hours. She just threw her head back and howled. I patted, soothed, shushed, bounced, jiggled, sang, nursed, rocked and begged. Some of it worked for a minute or two, some just made it worse. In the end, I set her in her crib, and walked away. I switched out the laundry, and put bottles in the sink to soak. Then I went back in to her room, picked her up and took her in to my bed. Her tiny face was red and wet. Her long eyelashes were damp, inky points. Her breath came in gulps and sobs. We laid down, nursed AGAIN, and she finally passed out. She continued to sob in her sleep for 30 minutes or so, then she settled into a deep and dreamy sleep.

Because her naps are so unpredictable, I usually can't relax enough to nap with her and/or I finally start to unwind and close my eyes 5 or 10 minutes before she wakes up. Since that's so much fun, I just stuck with it.

When she woke up, she was in a pretty good mood. At first. Then she got a look at her toys, and her mood went downhill - I think she's bored with her selection. In my infinite Mama wisdom, I gave up on staying home. We jumped up, threw on dresses, and ran out the door. We went to get frozen yogurt. Then we went to Central Market. That was one errand too many. I just couldn't catch a break.

Back at the house, negotiations began anew. We tried books, toys, bubbles, Sprout, nursing (AGAIN!!!), and 'walking' endlessly up and down the front room. None were exactly what she wanted. In desperation, I took her out to the front yard. I decided that she could eat grass until she felt better... it works for the dog... we had just barely planted our butts on the lawn when Lily's favorite thing happened - DADDY CAME HOME! I felt certain that my luck had changed, and the rest of my day would be cake.

I was right up to a point. She was thrilled that we were all together, and had silly, noisy fun until bedtime. Then she lost it again. Wailing, flailing, hitting, biting... oh my GOODNESS! She finally passed out around 1 a.m. No lie. My nerves are shot. My patience is drained, and my eyes are soooo very heavy.

The upside? The only way out is forward. Square your shoulders, take a deep breath and keeeeeeep on movin'. This too shall pass... right?

1 comment:

  1. bless your heart! those are the hardest days. Get your self some sbux and a hot bath and maybe a chance to cry yourself.