Keep Calm

This delightful reminder to stop taking myself so seriously made it's way bravely across the Atlantic Ocean. It weathered various hardships and survived the breaking of it's protective glass. Now it sits on my desk and mocks me. That's right - it mocks me. With it's beautiful green print and it's smug laissez-faire attitude. *sigh* If only it were that easy.

I have allowed myself to stress out again - big time. Ya'll know how I get, right? I have a problem that becomes a tail-chaser, and I practically turn myself to butter like the tigers in Little Black Sambo... or perhaps I could find a less racist comparison... This particular muddle is a well worn refrain: I need to go back to work but child care is mucho expensive - can we really afford to pay out an average of 2/3 of my wage in child care? Also, my career involves early and/or late hours including weekends and holidays. With a husband who travels for work (and therefore can't be reliable back-up), how can I go back to the spa? If I DO, then when will I see my family? This is what happened when we fell apart the first time! But if I don't go back to massage, how will I earn even enough to pay for child care never mind contribute to the household? BUT if I don't go back to work, will we EVER be able to stop living paycheck-to-paycheck?!... you see where this is heading, right? Mental instability and sleepless nights, that's where...

So I'm making stuff. Again. It's insane. I start to obsess, then I just shuffle zombie-like over to the computer. If I was already on the computer (say, looking for jobs), I just open a new tab for... wait for it... Pinterest, and start browsing for something that I can make NOW.

So, in addition to the macrame bracelets:

And the Viking fort and the Astrid costume and the garden, there is also some Celtic knot-work:

(toddler headband on the left & random, useless Celtic Heart Knot made from twine on the right)

Dream catchers woven into metal links:

(possibly to be made into bracelets or necklaces? possibly just because I like them :-/)

A new blanket for LR:

I bought the fabric and trim intending to make a blanket for our neighbor who was very pregnant at the time. When I got home, I realized that while the coral of the trim was one of the colors in the baby's room, the pattern and color combination were strictly my taste, and not my neighbor's taste at all... so it sat around waiting for me to have a crafting emergency... I finished it this past weekend in just under 2 hours... Lily Ruth LOVES it :-P

And now we come to what may be the death of me. Tiny pom poms. I saw a garland on Honestly WTF a few weeks back, and the thought of it has haunted me. I almost bought an actual pom pom maker (no lie - there IS such a thing), but then I saw the tutorial for making pom poms with a fork (A FORK?! I have one of those!), so I spent the $7 that I would have spent on the pom pom maker on tiny cards of yarn instead! Check me out:

*sigh* Well, I may not be gainfully employed full-time, but my life is gaining color, splash and spice... right? That counts... right? *double sigh* I wish that somebody would pay me to make all of this stuff. Anybody know a benefactor with a weakness for home-spun craftiness? And don't say 'Etsy' to me. Some of this stuff takes way more time to make than I could re-coup in selling prices. I want a flat-out benefactor or a full time job with child care. Make it happen. Toute de suite.

... I talked this all over with Kittyn - the one who sent me the Keep Calm picture - and she suggested that perhaps my angst is due to a sense of defeated expectations. I really didn't picture my life looking like this right now. Despite the fact that taken big-picture, my life is pretty damn good, I still expected to be in a different place right now. I mean, the big 4-0 is right around the corner. I fully expected to have more stuff figured out by now! I already went back to school and found a career that I love, so why isn't the rest of it all just falling into place? I expected to be working full time, and even working hard. What I didn't expect was constant uncertainty and/or worry. I expected to feel like a grown up... you know - steady job, bills paid, work all week & weekends are for family... grown up stuff... yet here I sit. Me. Just me in a 39-year-old body. When do the grown ups get here?

p.s. Aside from the blanket (which is me sewing two pieces of fabric together then adding a satin edge), all of these projects are on my Pinterest boards. You can find me as lilyruthsmama (big surprise). If you want/need a Pinterest invitation, just ask me :-)

Make Some Stuff, Eat Some Stuff

Today's recipes: Baked Chicken Bites and Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwiches (mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...)

My burst of energy continues! I have interviewed for a job, have lined up a 'discussion' regarding another position, and have gone in to work at my current (on-call) job all in the last week! I have also made something and purchased (most of) the supplies to make a few more things. Oh, and I've been cooking. WHEW!

Let's talk crafts first. I (finally) finished Lily Ruth's blanket. I bought new needles for my sewing machine, and adjusted the bobbin tension yet again (I had tinkered with it when I was shirring, and hadn't been able to get it back to regular :-/), and now it sews like new again! Here's Lily Ruth's Daddy modeling how the blanket works:

And here is a very subdued Lily Ruth with her Lucy and her 'FOG BANKET!'

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Jess at Craftiness Is Not Optional shared a tutorial link that I am soooo excited to try. It's a flower petal pillow that may or may not change my life. Alright, fine. Pillows don't change your life, but wrapping your brain around a tutorial then completing a project sure is good for the soul... if you're me... if you're you, you should probably find your own bliss. Since I happen to be me (and not you), I purchased supplies to make said pillow and change my life refresh my couch. The red and pink are for the flowers (duh). The beige is an indoor-outdoor fabric that I hope will hold up well as a pillow. The circle templates are 3 1/2 and 2 1/2 inches. Once the circles are cut out, you cut them in half, and voila - petals.

Now I just have to find time to cut out 50 felt circles and start sewing... Wait, I bought enough stuff for TWO pillows. That means 100 felt circles! Gack. I'll pay you ten bucks to come over and cut out circles for me. *edit: I buckled down and started cutting circles. It went super-duper fast!*

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While I was waiting in line for the cutting counter at JoAnn, I got sucked into buying more stuff. I'm pretty sure that's their plan. Those ladies move like they're wading through molasses, and if the line starts to move too fast, several of them will stop assisting customers and wander off to restock shelves or bundle up remnants. *sigh* SO, during my 45 minute wait (!!!), I found 2 new pieces of flannel to make into pillow cases for Lily Ruth. I also found coordinating trim and thread.

I love her pillow cases. She seems to, too. I think that having special Just For Lily Ruth pillows helped with the transition from crib to mattress-on-the-floor. I am hoping that their familiarity will also help with the transition from mattress-on-the-floor to Big Girl Bed.

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That's kind-of it for the crafting. Let's talk food!

I stumbled across a recipe on the back of a Progresso bread crumbs can, and actually loved it. Since I used all of those crumbs and didn't remember to copy it down, I no longer have the recipe. Sad story, right? Well, don't start crying into your soup just yet. There was a similar recipe on the back of my new can, and I just modified it to suit my needs - big surprise. These little bites are tastier than any chicken nugget I've ever had. My friend June says that they're 'like butter' and she couldn't stop eating them. Our kids thought they were 'o.k.', and will like the next batch better as I will cut back on the amount of seasoning. Crummy kids and their kid palates. :-P

Baked Chicken Bites

2 Lbs boneless skinless chicken thighs (use white meat if you prefer)
1 cup bread crumbs (I used garlic and herb - not a hit with the kids)
1/2 cup shredded Parmesean cheese
3 Tbsp melted butter

Remove any excess fat from the chicken, and cut into tiny (1 inch or so) pieces.

Mix the breadcrumbs and cheese in a  shallow bowl or dish. Mix in the butter.

Dredge the chicken in the breadcrumb/cheese/butter mixture, then place the coated pieces on a baking sheet. I foil-line my (cheap) baking sheets then spray the foil with cooking spray. Bake in a 425 degree oven for 15-20 minutes. Bites should be golden brown and cooked completely through.

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This next recipe is simmering away in my crockpot as we speak. Emily at My Pajama Days was a high school classmate of mine. We weren't close friends, but I always liked her open, adorable smile and all-inclusive nature. She was always sweet to me. Being shy by nature, this was a big deal. I even have a wallet-sized copy of her senior picture in my scrap book - goofy high school inscription from her and all.

When she blogs about mothering a pre-teen and a newly-teen, I hyperventilate. I am 98% certain that I will not handle myself with her wisdom when presented with the same situations. Hopefully, she'll open a Parent of Teen Girls hotline and allow me to call frequently.

At any rate, her version of this sandwich was up on her blog yesterday, and being a lover of Buffalo wing sauce, I decided to try it out. The original is here. My version follows...

Slow Cooker Buffalo Ranch Chicken Sandwiches

1 pkg boneless, skinless chicken thighs (my package was 1.75 Lbs)
1 bottle Buffalo wing sauce (my favorite is Frank's) - divided
1 pkg ranch dressing seasonings
sour cream
bleu cheese
whole grain rolls
Muenster cheese

Mix 1/2 of the bottle of wing sauce with 1/2 of the pkg of ranch seasoning. Pour into the bottom of your crockpot. Lay the chicken over the sauce, and pour 1/4 of the bottle of wing sauce over the top (you now have 1/4 of the bottle left... in case you're math challenged...). Cover and cook on 'low' for 6-7 hours. Once the chicken is cooked, remove it from the crockpot and place it in a shallow dish. Shred the meat, and gradually mix in the remaining wing sauce - tasting as you go - until you have the right amount of 'kick' for you.

Mix the remaining 1/2 packet of ranch seasoning with sour cream. I have approx. 2 Tbsp left, so I'm using 8 oz of sour cream. Use the resulting concoction as a sandwich spread or veggie/chip dip. My plan is to serve raw carrots with dinner and trick Lily Ruth into eating them 'like a bunny'. Maybe the dip will help. *edit: it did not. She ate exactly one bit of 'cway-ot' then pronounced it 'yucky'.*

If you go in for this sort of thing, you can mix bleu cheese into your meat before piling it onto the rolls. My husband adores bleu cheese. I loathe it. Whatever floats your boat. I'm not here to judge... except that I really don't like bleu cheese, so I may judge a little bit...

**By the by, we just finished dinner, and these sammies were WONDERFUL. Definitely part of my rotation from now on!**

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That's all for today, folks! Remember - always surround yourself with things that make you smile (like giant flower pillows and soft, cuddly blankets) and eat things that make your tummy smile (like spicy chicken and NOT bleu cheese). Love you!

Easing Back Into Life

I'm still here. I'm still healing. Things are slowly returning to normal.

I'm trying to pay more attention. I feel like I have gotten a bit disconnected from my own daily life. I worry that I'm actually a bit depressed (again), and hadn't noticed. It's been hard for me to get anything done. Not just the stuff that I don't want to do (like chores), but also the stuff that I say I'll do and then just flat-out forget and stuff that I want to do, but somehow never make time for.

It's also really, really hot here. We're talking so hot that it's hard to leave the house. I allowed our routine to become a bit Morning Outing Then Lunch Then Nap Then......... nothing. O.k., maybe 'nothing' is a bit harsh - sometimes we make it to the grocery store...

But I'm trying again. I'm paying attention again. I'm getting things done again. I even started a blog post about recipes that I've made recently, but I got bored with it. I'll finish it later. Let's play My Life in Snippets of Talk and Photos instead.

I made my first baby blanket! This was the stuff that I had picked out for the baby I lost. It will instead be for my friend who is having her first baby (a boy!) this November. I love the colors. It has inspired me to make one for Lily Ruth as well. It will have the same backing and edging, but a different (girly-er) flannel:

Lily Ruth and I have been trying to get out of the house every day, but some days are harder than others. Some days, it's 107 degrees in the shade, and you have to eat your Dora the Explorer popsicle FAST before she becomes a puddle:

OR, you repeatedly tell your Mama that you want to stay home all day, but she drags you out of the house anyway, so you're forced to have an epic tantrum in your carseat then pass out so that Mama is stuck sitting in the car for an hour and a half while you nap:

But then, there are good days. Days when Mama drives all over trying to find ice cream at 10:30 am:

And days when you have lunch at the Taco Garage so you can 'eat chips and cheese with my FACE!':

We're also doing more art projects again. We were in kind of a creative slump. No energy. No inspiration. Then Lily Ruth started carrying a package of paintbrushes in her 'purse', so I decided that it was time to get some paints out. Friends gave Lily Ruth a finger paint set for her birthday. They're gel paints, and I have no experience with those. I was a bit hesitant about them, and I'm still not crazy about them, but they're fun and fairly easy to clean up.

In typical Lily Ruth fashion, she started off on the paper, but soon began painting her body 'on the sly' - checking out of the corner of her eye for any possible negative reactions:

Then she gingerly applied some to her nose while pretending to sniff her hands:

Then I grabbed a brush and we giggled while we painted almost all of her tiny body:

(Note the use of Mama's bead necklace as a headband) She loves it when I paint on her :-) These gel paints are gorgeous in the pots, but tend to be a bit washed out once applied to paper or skin unless they are applied in thick globs. Lily Ruth likes for me to glob on the paint in a pattern. She then rubs it around with her hands until it's smooth. Then she demands 'Moe, mama, MOE' (more) or 'draw heart, Mama!'

So, there you have it. Nothing earth-shattering. Just everyday good stuff. I'm re-learning how to be more like myself. Lily Ruth is learning how to be her own self.