Why I do not work

... outside the home...

Here's how the morning went:

8 am - phone rings. Car dealership - 'how is the car doing since it's service?' 'IDK - ask the guy that drives it.' 'Uuuhhh, can I have his phone number... and his e-mail address?' 'um, no.'

8:15 am - Lily Ruth has a 101° teething fever, so she gets a dose of Tylenol. This does not go smoothly.

8:20 - 9 am - we nurse and play in bed.

9 am - I make Oat Bran cereal with cherries and Greek yogurt for our breakfast. After one bite, Lily decides that she doesn't want to eat off of the spoon. After one more bite, Lily decides that she doesn't want to eat off my finger. I glop a big spoonful onto her high chair tray, and let her have at it.

9:20 am - Lily starts yelling at the cereal. I video the hilarity, and send it to my Mama, my e-mail and her Daddy.

9:25 am - Lily Ruth is no longer amused by me, breakfast or anything else. I pull her up and head into the bathroom with a cereal-coated baby. We both get in. The bath itself goes well, but then Lily Ruth breaks down, and wants to nurse - IN THE TUB.

9:35 am - Bath time is over. Time for drying off, diaper, and today's clothes. Tears and screaming accompany the whole ordeal. I get one item of clothing (out of 4) on her (and none on me), then give up and curl up on the bed. No dice - she's still ticked.

9:45 am - Still crying, so we nurse AGAIN, and she cries as I put the rest of her clothing on.

9:50 am - Time for Mama to get ready. Lily Ruth sits in one of the sinks in my vanity and plays with a tiny bottle of Lavender massage oil while I fix my hair, cover the huge zit on my chin and apply a thin veneer of mascara. BTW, I am still nude at this point - she has not seen it necessary to allow clothing for me yet.

10 am - I get dressed. Finally

10:05 am - Lily Ruth takes her massage oil into the dining room. I take the highchair tray and the t-shirt she wore while 'eating' into the bathroom and rinse them in the bathtub.

10:10 am - I think that we are ready, but then I remember that Lily needs stuff to eat while at Parent's Day Out. I assemble a cereal/veggie/yogurt snack, check the volume of dry snacks in her bag, defrost and assemble a bottle, fill her sippy cup, label all of her stuff with a sharpie and cram it all into her diaper bag.

10:25 am - WE FINALLY LEAVE THE HOUSE.

Ya'll - it took us TWO AND A HALF HOURS to get up, get ready and get out of the house. Ridiculous. This needs work.