I obviously want to share my stories, or I wouldn't 'publish' my blog, but when it comes to having people directed to my blog by blogs who have a more established (and/or 'grown up') reader list, I freak out a little.
Remember how my guest post over on My Pajama Days made me a little queasy? What I didn't tell you is that when Emily sent me an e-mail reminding me that my guest post essay was going up the following day, I almost shut down my blog. That's how freaked out I (momentarily) was. Then I realized that this was irrational. I'm not asking everyone who views my blog to agree with me or like me. I'm not in charge of them. I'm only in charge of me. I can't force even one person to giggle at my daughter's painted toes. I can only continue to blog in a way that makes me happy. If I don't want people to have an opinion about me or my life, I can stop sharing at any time. These thoughts calmed me down. I was able to just say 'thank you' for the increased traffic to my little corner of the web... until today...
A few weeks ago, my Mama asked permission to use one of my posts in a Lenten blog series on simplicity that she is co-moderating. Since I love my Mama, and I was pleased with that post, I agreed. Then she told me that they wanted to simply link to my blog instead of re-posting the story. I told her that was fine, but it freaked me out a little. This meant that not just strangers, but people who know my MOM would be directed to my blog... with all it's foolishness... and irreverence... and recent seriousness... I would have been queasy if I had remembered that this was coming up... but I forgot.
This morning I realized that the link was active and I almost freaked out, but I didn't. Progress, no?
Thank you Lord for the blessings of today. Thank you for giving me the strength to stand behind the stories that I've told. Thank you for the people who love me enough to share them. Thank you for tiny painted toes and giant stinky dogs. Thank you!