Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Tuesday Morning Silliness

Princess Diaper Lily and I rolled out of bed around 7:30 this morning. Not a record in any direction. Completely do-able. The only thing that made it tricky was the fact that we needed to leave pronto in order to drop ScratchItchChew Dog off at the vet for a medicated bath and a skin check. Our poor Keely suffers from allergies, and her brief winter reprieve from the agony of constant itching ended this weekend.

I managed to throw on clean jeans, a marginally clean bra, a fairly respectable t-shirt and run a comb through my hair. I may or may not have remembered to swipe yesterday's mascara from under my eyes. I dumped Lily Ruth into a 'dress' that is closer to a nightgown, but did not smell of tinkle as her p.j.s did. I also covered BOTH of her bandaged knees with short leg warmers so that she would stop picking at the Band-aids. Add a pair of dirty Robeez for her feet, and we were out the door.

Since my plan was to drop off the dog, grab a quick cup of coffee then head home, these outfits were not unreasonable.

Of course, what actually transpired was that Lily Ruth was DISTRAUGHT at having to leave her poor scared doggie at the vet. She babbled in a slightly hysterical manner all the way from the vet to Starbucks. She refused any form of juice, and she asked nicely to be held. None of those things are within her range of 'normal', so instead of dumping her back in the car, we sat down to decompress. We played with stickers for a while. Did ya'll know that stickers are WAY more fun when applied to your body? Well, they are. Behold:

Then, after a round or two of 'DOGGIE, Mama, DOGGIE *pant, pant*' (I sooooo wish that I had been able to capture her dog impersonation, but every time that I turned the camera on, she ran around to my side to watch what I was filming - smart little minx.), she did a small amount of interpretive dance then ended her performance with this:

**** Edit: The photo that formerly lived here was one of my favorite pics to date of my baby girl, but google has seen fit to assign tags to said photo that I find offensive and rude. I have had multiple hits from searches like 'saggy diapers'. So I removed the picture. I hate that my beautiful daughter was viewed in that manner :-( ****

One leg warmer hiked up. The other pushed down. 'Froggy!' sticker on shin. Dress pulled up to reveal the lack of bloomers and a sagging diaper (mother. of. the. year.). Add in a chorus of 'BUTTON, belly, belly, Mama!' followed by a (thankfully) brief moment of diaper grabbing accompanied by a triumphant crowing of 'BITS!' My angel was starting to feel better.

Her spirits dipped again when we got to the car and she remembered that her doggie had ridden with her this morning and was no longer there. I was struck by divine inspiration - 'Lily Ruth, would you like to go to the zoo?' 'ISH, MAMA! ISH, IIIIISHHHHH!!!!!' I took that as a 'yes'. We put the car into drive and headed out.

Having a season pass to the zoo is a blessing... with hidden curses... We were able to head for 'ISH' at the drop of the hat. It didn't matter that she only wanted to stay for 45 minutes.... I forgot to look in the mirror before getting out of the car. Thanks to the product that I applied yesterday, my hair had transformed into a greasy, flat, weirdly piece-y mess. Thanks to my genetic predisposition to oily skin, I was covered in new red blotches that will soon become zits and/or full-blown pimples. Sod's Law dictates that today is the day that I would run into a few mommy velociraptors from the playground. All showered and wearing clothes that match. Huh. Whatever. My kid is WAY more awesome than their (clean, dressed) kids...

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